The Future Queen's Reflections
by IamAGreekLeaf
Summary: Arthur didn't love her, but Lancelot does. Arthur & Guinevere, mentions of Arthur & Merlin


**THE FUTURE QUEEN'S REFLECTIONS**

Arthur didn't love her.

The first sign proving this truth came before she noticed that blond spoiled boy as anything beyond the prince that he was, the throne heir. Now, if she thought hard, the remembrance only proved her suspects. The memory of a boy recently arrived in the city, with pale skin, struck with a high fever over a mattress made by hay and mumbling incoherence while arguing voices were floating around him was brought back. And then, the spoiled prince made a decision that changed Guinevere's views about his person: he decided to save the servant. If was because he was too stubborn, or because he was grateful for what the servant did, she never knew, but when he left in the middle of night on his horse, she prayed for him to succeed.

Arthur didn't love her.

She should have noticed this because of the number of times that the prince fell under some kind of a love spell cast by some fool young lady blinded by the throne heir's beauty and his position in the court. She should have noticed because the one that was always there to break said spells was a clumsy young man with a big mouth that made the prince's eyes light up with amusement and rage because of the lack of common sense about royal etiquette coming from the younger boy. Obviously there was Lady Vivien and the kiss in the tend, the fairytale kiss that made her knees weak and broke the spell. But then, months, years later, when she thought about it she would remember that the one who pushed her to do something that she was too shy to do on her own volition was him, the source of her all growing doubts.

Arthur didn't love her.

The thought came when she saw herself under Heingst's power, pretending to be her lady, and with her heart doing somersaults in her ribcage when she saw Lancelot's familiar figure entering the arena and later visiting her in the dungeons, when she saw Arthur coming to rescue her accompanied by him and if when they were escaping through the tunnels she saw that every time that the prince looked over his shoulder it wasn't to see if she was alright, but to know where _he _was, she pretended to ignore it.

Arthur didn't love her.

She knew this when Camelot fell under Morgana and Morgause's hands, when while running away with Sir Leon she found Arthur and his group hiding in the caves around the city with _him_. She knew this when after a very heartwarming speech on the round table, everyone got up and proclaimed their loyalty to the future king. Everyone but _him_. Not until Arthur called his name, saying he didn't have a choice but follow him, and he agreed, getting up and exchanging knowing looks with the prince.

Arthur didn't love her.

She was certain of this when the mourn week after Uther's death had passed and Arthur entered the castle's great hall, dressing his best formal clothes, walking between his people with a straight back and head held high until he was in front of Geoffrey and kneeling by his feet. And then, when he was finally crowned king, his clears eyes went around the room looking for someone, until he found them beside her, the same person she heard say prideful than ever: "Long live the King!"

Arthur didn't love her.

She should have repeated said mantra to herself when she made the mistake to accept the king's proposal of marriage. And when his majesty put the ring on her finger, whispering in her ear sweet words and praises about her lovely qualities, qualities that brought his attention to her, Guinevere realized with some horror that the same qualities could be found in another person well known by them, in another servant.

Arthur didn't love her.

And because of this that she didn't resist to the smile on Lancelot's beautiful face. She didn't resist to her heart jumping with joy inside her chest when she saw he was back. Didn't resist to the sweet words, the small touches full of promises, to the simple fact that he was there and that he loved her.

Because Arthur didn't love her.

But Lancelot does.


End file.
